Should I Leave?

Asking the question “Should I leave my husband?” has got to be THE hardest question we ask ourselves.  That is the million dollar question over half the married population ask on Google.  Or it is something you never thought you’d be ‘Googling’. Riddled with self-doubt, sprinkled with confusion and a tonne of fear and a pinch of guilt. Most likely not even knowing exactly how you got to this very position you now find yourself in.

Many of the women I speak with have told me how much they went ‘looking’ for the right answer online. Something to give them the right ‘sign’ how to leave or how to fix the marriage.

In my upcoming book “Separation Success” I cover the Top 20 Questions people have mentioned to me or written to me about.

Here are the Top 5 Questions that I will share with you now :
1.How can I stop the divorce and save the marriage?
2. Should we go to marriage counselling?
3. What about the kids? Maybe I will wait til they are in high school.
4. How will I cope as a single Mum, I wouldn’t even know what to do.
5. I will feel like a failure if I end the marriage.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Here’s what I think. That we are just not educated or taught how to have successful relationships. We use our parents as our model of what a relationship looks like or shouldn’t look like. We try and make sense of what is happening and want to know how to fix it. No one gets married with the intention to get divorced. No one has children and then wants to raise your children as a single parent.

But we took vows and we said ‘for better or worse, ‘til death do us part’. We need this relationship to work out because of all the stigma attached to divorce and separation. Surely this can’t be happening to me. I even remember when one of my friend’s marriages was looking a bit rocky, I thought ‘there is no way I want to end up in her situation’. I can even recall to this day exactly where I was driving when these very thoughts entered my mind…I even told my (ex) husband when I arrived home that I never wanted to end up divorced. Well ….

What to do now?

Relationships take work, but many people think they shouldn’t have to work at a great relationship, that it just ‘happens’.  Unless you have invested into a specific relationship course, then there is every chance you are here because you just don’t know what to do and maybe it is not as bad as it seems.

I am big believer in investing in ourselves and our relationships and I have invested 1000’s of dollars in my own personal development and growth over the last 4 years. I wanted to learn what went wrong in my marriage and what part I played too. Because there are three sides to every story. His side, her side and the truth.

When ending a marriage, there is actually a way to separate successfully. I am absolutely obsessed with people re-thinking the way they separate and divorce. After going through (and still to this day) my own tsunami of a divorce, we absolutely need to separate and divorce with the end in mind. That two people who once loved each other and created a family, need to be and deserve to still be happy, even apart. Again, so much more of this is covered in my book, which I cannot wait to share with you. Just think what it would be like if everyone separated with kindness?

Ending your marriage won’t be easy, but what if it could be done with ease??

So, should you stay or should you go?  Only you know  that answer, in your heart of hearts.

Ren xo

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