Do you sometimes find yourself in your newly single status, wondering what it would be like to have your old life back? I was recently asked if I ever wanted my life back. The simple answer is :
I never had a moment of wanting my old life back. I wanted a new me because I hardly recognised the girl I saw in the mirror. So I made the choice very early on to find out who I was. I am sure I am not alone here.
I wanted and needed to find my inner sparkle that I had lost somewhere over the years. Somehow and for why I can’t remember, but I had subconsciously given my husband the responsibility for making me happy. Which isn’t fair and only a realisation I came to when I embarked on my journey of self discovery and awareness.
So I thought to myself, when were you truly the happiest before your marriage. It was when I was living in the groovy suburb of Elwood, I was running 5 days a week and training for a half marathon along the Great Wall of China. I was fit and felt fabulous. I had a great life with great friends and freedom.
Then I reflect and think when am I happiest now. That is easy, it’s when I get to hear my kids foot steps in the morning when they come into bed with me for ‘huggles’ and stories. It’s when I get to have fun and hangout with them and be a big kid myself. Then I am also happiest when I am out dressed up and having a dance with some friends.
I am also very happy after I have done a meditation, some journaling and walked my dog along the beach.
What I also learnt was that, if all I ever did was look backwards on something I couldn’t change and didn’t want to change, that was a recipe for unhappiness. I made a choice to look forward, plan out a new life and just start living. I had a choice every day as to what mood I could take in to the day. I chose happiness.
I learnt that happiness is up to me and it’s an inside job. I learnt about what needs I had to have met and how to meet them in a good way and not distructive way. I just got to know me again.
Divorce can be a great opportunity for you to do a ‘Madonna’, reinvent yourself, your career, your everything, or just one thing.
4 TIPS TO CREATING YOUR WHAT’S NEXT CHAPTER
1. Reflect on the marriage and look at the lessons it gave you and be grateful.
2. Spend some time getting to know yourself again, no alcohol and disconnect from social media for a week, weekend or just a day. Love your alone time.
3. Sit and visualise how you want your future to be, what does it look like, how does it feel. Then create a vision board for your plan. Look at it daily.
4. Get busy living. Make plans, see a play, date your self.
So let me ask you, why would you want your old life back when it wasn’t working anyway?
What’s next – a lot to catch up on, but let’s talk about the ‘Rules Of Divorce.’
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