What Mother’s Day is ‘Really’ Like for a Single Mum
What Mother’s Day Is Really Like for a single Mum
What is Mother’s Day ‘Really’ like for a single Mum? Just like any other day of the week. Yep, it’s that simple. Most of Mother’s Day becomes just like any other day of the week. Sure you get a gorgeous handmade card and a pressie they bought at school or maybe even made themselves (which is my favourite kind). However, take all the “Hallmark” moments away and it really is just any other day.
My ex and I split up 3 years ago almost to the day. That particular Mother’s Day was a challenging day to get through because it was just me and the kids. They were teeny too, only 3 and 4 years old, so I understand that their cuddles were enough. At that stage my ex bought me a flower from them. Then the next year, there was nothing from the kids that he had helped with. That was kind of tough to take at first. There was no breakfast in bed and no day off parenting, which for me, is what Mother’s Day should be about. No cooking, no cleaning and no parenting, a true day off.
I was chatting to a girlfriend last year, who is happily married, and she said I don’t even spend the morning with my kids, I take the day off, away from the family for most of the day. I didn’t quite understand this concept, but I sat with it. She books herself into a 5 star hotel in Melbourne and her family come and spend a few hours with her at the hotel pool and then they go home. She sleeps in, has breakfast bought to her room and she indulges for the first half of the day. Then, she goes home to the family and they celebrate the afternoon and evening together.
After 5 minutes of considering this, I thought, what a fabulous idea! She has it right! She gets a day off parenting and being a Mum for most of the day. When you are home with your family, everything is the same, the kids can still argue and potentially say ‘Mummmm’ way too often, and when you are on your own with them, it is just you and them, no one to step in and take the load off. Last night, my daughter threw a huge tantrum, which then prevented us from going out for dinner, because there was no way I was ‘rewarding’ her bad behaviour. I did my most calm voice to cool her down to try and prevent this, but she went into full on mode with no warning and then after being asked to stop so we could go out, she didn’t. Game over, the end of Mother’s Day. So the kids got 2 minute noodles and I had left over lamb shank soup as I refuse to cook on Mother’s Day.
Sometimes it is a challenge to admit that we want or even enjoy some ‘me time’ away from our kids. This is nothing to be ashamed of, what it is, is being a REAL person. I love, love, love my kids to bits and love hearing their foot steps every morning when one or both of them come running from their room to mine for our morning snuggles, they are divine and the best thing I have ever done. But, when I have my free time, I make sure I enjoy every minute of that so I am the best for them when they come home. Yes, Mother’s Day happened to fall on my kid free weekend, and yes, I decided Mother’s Day was about Me, and yes I had a girl friend’s birthday on Saturday night that I really wanted to go to. Because I am not just a Mum, I am a person with needs and who enjoys getting all dressed up, in heals and make up and going out dancing because it makes me happy. There is no ‘mother guilt’ here.
Happy Mother’s Day, whatever you and your kiddies got up to.
What’s next …. Top 10 Things You Can Do For Yourself Next Mother’s Day!
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