WTF? Really, is this just the biggest waste of Facebook’s money and talent or what. Seriously, you need a tool to ‘breakup’ with someone on Facebook. The only tool we should need after a breakup is a new vibrator. I think using this just makes you look like a social media stalker tool. (we all know the saying of Facebook stalking, c’mon we all do it too). Sorry, blunt, not sorry, but I think this topic needs to be said in this way.
What you do need to do is just BLOCK and UNFRIEND. It is that easy.
So here is how you breakup with someone ‘socially’ in 4 easy steps :
- Unfriend and block them – there is zero reason to know what they are up to. This will honestly help you have a clean break and in time feel so much more empowered and able to move forward sooner.
- Delete the photos – You do not need these reminders. You may choose to have a separate album for them as reminders, because I am sure most of the times together were great. However, you do not need to keep being reminded of them. Especially if you don’t have children. While I can still be grateful for the times we had together, I don’t need them on social media. They are kept in a safe box for when the kids want to see them.
- Unfriend and block any of his/her friends you feel you need to – just do it. I’ve had many a conversation with people before about he said/she said blah blah is up to this and that. Chinese whispers etc etc. If they are not going to be in your social circle and have done the whole ‘choosing sides’ thing, then just unfriend. We all still have phones to keep in touch if it’s necessary. Remember, those who are meant to be in your life, will always be there.
- Change your status to SINGLE , not separated or divorced, just be single. Before you got married or into a relationship you were single status. Who says you have to be separated or divorce on Facebook, no one ever. Single is way better, and way more fun 😉
If you need a tool to breakup with someone and only follow ‘some’ of their posts, then we need to have a chat. There is absolutely no reason you need to know what they are up to. And trust me, the person who does the breaking up, is NOT worried about what you are doing.
Staring at your screen for hours ‘stalking’ them on Facebook is a waste of time and energy you can never get back. Just think how you are going to feel when you see him/her with another girl/guy and how that is going to make you feel. Not very happy or thrilled I am sure, so why put yourself through that? You’d be better off spending time swiping left and right on Tinder. Way more fun.
Why can I say this, because when my marriage ended, it is exactly what I did. I did not care why my husband was up to after we had officially separated. It was actually hard enough seeing him happy smiling away at his work with some random chick that was a friend of one of his meddling friends.
Then I read some childish comments from his other friends that were so unnecessary and disrespectful. And then …. After a few glasses of Rose one night, I decided to post a paragraph from an email onto my status update. Ooops. One of my besties (actually, the person I would least expect) called me and said ‘Renee, what are you doing, delete your status update now.’ For him to tell me to do that I knew then it was so stupid. But I only had to do it once to know never again. I think it was only up there for 5-10 mins and a few of his friends had taken a screen shot of it and sent it to him. I looked stupid and rightly so, it was dumb. It was me being very reacting. Never again. So don’t look like a tool, I did that, learn from my mistakes and keep your dignity.
Of course I then went and unfriended and blocked all the likely suspects but I have never done anything like that again and never will.
BLOCK and take your power back. Oh yeah, and when YOU do the unfriending and unfollowing first, trust me, you will feel way better than when you find out they unfriended you. You know it 😉
So why am I being so blunt about all this? Because I absolutely want you to know how awesome you are. Take a look at all your amazing qualities and love yourself. Learn how to date yourself before you meet the next love of your life. Just because this relationship didn’t work out, it is not the end of the world. There is Plenty of Fish in the sea …
Until next time when we discuss how you can really move forward from a breakup.
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